Seduce Her With Your Space

I’m coming back to your place, so I’ve already decided I want to make out with you. Or, at the very least, I maybe want to make out with you. What’s absolutely clear is this: I definitely don’t not want to make out with you. Why else would I have accepted your invitation to watch kung fu movies back at your apartment? I hate kung fu.

So here I am, at your front door, at least a little into you.

But that may change as soon as I step inside. That’s the moment I start seriously considering, Is this a man I want to get naked with? I can tell more about a guy and what kind of boyfriend he’d be in * minutes at his place than I could in three dates. Whether I ultimately decide to stay the night, stay forever, or somewhere in between has a lot to do with your stuff. The balance may hang in your towel selection.

“Women see webs of data, not individual points,” says anthropologist Helen Fisher, Ph.D., a research professor at Rutgers University and the author of Why We Love. “So, when they walk into a man’s apartment, they’re collecting information in droves.”

And possibly using it against you. “A woman can tell when she walks into a guy’s place whether she’s his fifth hookup of the month,” says Ian Kerner, Ph.D., a sex therapist and the author of DSI: Date Scene Investigation. On the other hand, if your pad is an honest expression of who you are, it can help you seal the deal.

So let’s go on a guided tour of all the things she’ll notice—even be looking for—the first time she visits. Green-light items indicate you’re a stand-up guy. Lots of green: Congrats, you’ll be hosting an intimate sleepover soonest. Red-light stuff screams “not worthy of seeing me naked.” If she sees too much red, a big hug is coming your way—on her way out the door.

Is your place girlfriend-friendly? Find out with our how-she’s-sizing-up-your-crib crib sheet...

 THE ENTRYWAY  

Welcome me to your home with a kiss at the door, then immediately take my coat and purse. Bonus points if you have a coat rack or uncluttered closet where you can hang them. Now offer me a drink and ask me to follow you to the kitchen. On the way, I’ll notice . . .

••• Green lights
_________________________

* Small hall mirror (Good Taste)
* Table with a dish for keys and loose change  (Handy)
* Handsome area rug (Good Taste)
* Running shoes, snowboard, hiking boots, hockey stick (Interesting, Healthy)

AIM FOR A SEMI-MESSY LOOK. A pristine place is a turnoff. Do you have nothing better to do than organize sock drawers and alphabetize your DVDs? “A moderate level of messiness can actually work for a guy,” says Fisher. “It signals that he needs somebody. Because women tend to be nest builders, we view it as a challenge: Oh, I can fix this up in an afternoon.” Note: Messy does not mean unclean—more on that later.

••• Red lights
_________________________

* Piles of unopened mail (JV)
* Guy-apartment smell (Slob)

CLEAR YOUR AIR. You want to ensure that the first thing that greets her isn’t a locker-room or frat-house stench, but your place shouldn’t smell flowery or perfumey, either. Try Method Aroma Sticks ($15) in natural scents like Sweet Water or Cut Grass, or the plug-in Aroma Pills ($10) in Eucalyptus + Mint, both available at store.methodhome.com. These crisp, manly fragrances are more surprising than pine, the typical guy go-to.


  THE KITCHEN

Have at least three beverage options to offer me, and make sure one is nonalcoholic (tea, water, ginger ale). The kitchen is a good place to talk, so display items that are conversation starters. Oh, if I sit on your countertop while listening . . . well, let’s just say you’ve done everything right so far.

••• Green lights
_________________________

* Postcards from places you’ve traveled, upcoming concert tickets, rock-climbing-gym hours on a magnetic bulletin board  (Interesting, Fun, Healthy)
* Fresh fruits and vegetables, jar of vitamins on top of fridge  (Healthy)
* Box of Lucky Charms  (Fun)
* Stainless-steel appliances, Global knife set, bamboo cutting board, Mario Batali spoonula  (Good Taste, Interesting)

WHIP UP A SNACK. Feeding me shows a desire to take care of me, and it’s sexy to watch you do things with your hands, like flip a grilled cheese with a flick of the wrist or chop vegetables for a quick homemade salsa. Speaking of which, this one wows every time.

Mango-Avocado Salsa
    1     mango (skin and seed removed), cut into cubes
    1     ripe avocado (skin and pit removed), cut into cubes
    ¼    cup minced onion
    1     jalapeño pepper (or more, if you want extra heat), minced
    ½     cup chopped cilantro
    Juice of 1 lime
    Salt and pepper

Combine the mango, avocado, onion, jalapeño pepper, cilantro, and lime juice in a mixing bowl. Season to taste.

••• Red lights
_________________________

* Overflowing trash can  (JV)
* Preassembled cheese plate  (Trying Too Hard)
* Crusty dishes in the sink, sticky floor (Slob)
* You holding a beer in every photo on the fridge (JV)

LET YOUR PHOTOS VOUCH FOR YOU. Pictures of you with Mom and Pop (or with your nieces and nephews) practically scream, “He’s a stand-up guy.” Ditto for photographs of you in big groups of friends—as long as you don’t look sloshed in all of them. Photos of places you’ve traveled or things you’re passionate about also make for good talking points.


 THE LIVING ROOM   

Beverages in hand, lead me to your living room, which should be roommate-free the first time I come over. While en route, give me a quick tour of the place, spending a few seconds in each room we pass.

••• Green lights
_________________________

* Khaki, gray, or brown walls (Good Taste)
* Bright blue or red walls (Fun, Interesting)
* Bookshelves with lots of books  (Interesting)
* Soft throw pillows and a quilted blanket on the couch (Good Taste, Considerate)
* Energy-saving lightbulbs in lamps  (Considerate)
* The Office–Season * on DVD (Fun)
* Lots of tech, without wires all over the place  (Handy)
* Xbox 360 and Madden NFL 08 tucked away in entertainment center (Fun)
* Leafy green thing (Considerate)

SHOW YOU CAN CARE. A shiny potted plant—or a pet—says you can care for something other than yourself. This plays to a girl’s anthropological instincts. Maybe you’ll even make a good father one day. If you have a black thumb, make your show of green with a ZZ plant (Zamioculcas zamiifolia). It thrives on neglect, requiring only occasional watering and minimal sunlight. $24, smithandhawken.com

••• Red lights
_________________________

* Xbox 360 and Madden NFL 08 in the middle of the floor  (JV)
* Bare, white walls  (JV)
* Lit candle on coffee table, Coldplay playing  (Trying Too Hard)
* 70-inch plasma TV taking up an entire wall  (JV)
* Pink Floyd Dark Side of the Moon poster  (JV)

FOCUS ON YOUR FOCAL POINT. “The size of your TV and where you place it say a great deal about who you are,” says Fisher. If a monster TV is the centerpiece of the living room, we’ll assume you’ll want to spend all weekend watching sports (which some girls might be into). But if your focal point is a floor-to-ceiling bookshelf, we’ll see you as a relaxed, thoughtful guy. That’s sexy.

DISPLAY YOUR CREATIVE SIDE. Unless your place is in fact a dorm room at the University of Florida, it shouldn’t look like one. Go to wallhogs.com, where you can have your favorite snapshot turned into a canvas masterpiece for about $50. Or transform an entire wall into a cool art installation by turning a snapshot into a mural at muralsyourway.com. Then, when I compliment your cool artwork, you’ll have a story to tell. I’ll think you’re creative—and suddenly hotter.



 THE BATHROOM  

Eventually, I will have to go to the bathroom. At first I’ll be preoccupied, hoping your fan is loud enough—and your walls thick enough—that you don’t hear me peeing. But after I flush, I will definitely check out your shower, peek in the medicine cabinet, and size up the rest of the room.

••• Green lights
_________________________

* Thick, understated shower curtain (Interesting, Good Taste)
* Clean toilet  (Healthy, Considerate)
* Fluffy clean towels  (Considerate, Good Taste)

DETOX THE BATHROOM. If I don’t want to drop my panties in your bathroom, I’m not going to drop them in the bedroom. Every man should own a Swiffer WetJet for the floor, a bottle of antibacterial cleaning wipes for the sink and toilet seat, and a disposable toilet scrubber for the bowl. (There’s nothing more disgusting than a brown-stained wand beside the toilet.) Or, if you’re really in a pinch, do this:

1  Pour 1 cup of baking soda and 1 gallon of hot water into your toilet. Wait an hour or two, then flush away the stains.

2  Mix equal parts vinegar and lemon juice. Wet a paper towel with it and wipe the sink, toilet seat, and floor.

TREAT MY NAKED BODY RIGHT. A lot of guys have a single, threadbare gray towel in the bathroom. Did it start out gray or white or what? When it comes to linens and things, remember this rule: Anything my delicate bits might at some point tonight or in the near future come in contact with should be clean, soft, and no more than * years old.

••• Red lights
_________________________

* Absence of toilet paper or soap, magazines on the floor  (JV)
* Condom wrapper in the wastepaper basket or box of condoms in the medicine cabinet  (Player)
* That unique guy-bathroom smell of aftershave, Listerine, and Irish Spring  (JV)
* More than one toothbrush in the holder when you live alone (Emotional Baggage)

EXTERMINATE ALL EX EVIDENCE. “Any sign of another woman is an absolute killer,” says Fisher. “Women want to know where they stand, who they’re competing with. Evolution has programmed us to chase the best man, even if that means climbing over other women.” Unless you want to see your date’s claws come out, delete all signs of your previous leading lady’s presence in your palace. These include, but are not limited to, ponytail holders, hair conditioner in the shower, women’s deodorant or a tampon in the medicine cabinet, photos of the two of you together flashing on your laptop screen, “Julie’s Bedtime Mix” on the iPod SoundDock, and episodes of Grey’s Anatomy on TiVo.


  THE BEDROOM  

Whether I’m here for the night or just taking a peek as I cruise down the hall from the bathroom (you definitely should leave the bedroom door open), I’ll want to see . . .

••• Green lights
_________________________

* Soft, gentle bedside lamp  (Considerate)
* Tab curtains or wooden blinds  (Good Taste)
* The World without Us and 1,000 Places to See before You Die on your nightstand  (Interesting, Fun)
* Toolbox, tucked neatly in a corner (Handy)
* Headboard  (Good Taste)

BUY A MAN’S BED, WILL YA? Nothing screams “single guy” louder than a bed pushed up against a wall in the corner of a room, with no entrance on “my” side. Position your bed on the longest wall in the room, headboard against the wall. A headboard indicates you’ve moved on to the stage in life where you can afford nonessential furnishings, for purely aesthetic purposes. Also invest in a couple of shams to stick behind your pillows. They look classy—especially the square, European-style ones—and create a padded barrier between our backs and the headboard, should we ever sit up in bed chatting. And between our heads and the headboard, should we find ourselves conversing horizontally.

••• Red lights
_________________________

* How to Make Love like a Porn Star, by Jenna Jameson, on the nightstand  (JV, Player)
* Messy desk, big piles of laundry or other clutter  (JV)
* Large mirror near the bed  (Player)
* Silk or animal-print sheets  (Trying Too Hard, Player)

CREATE A SANCTUARY. “Women are extremely sensitive to their environments,” says Kerner. “Being in a warm, positive, nurturing space will help them relax and enjoy sex more.” Unless you live in a tiny studio apartment, keep your work out of sight. Hide your dirty laundry, too—balled-up dirty socks and boxers are decidedly unattractive.

LURE HER TO BED. I’m most impressed by a man who has a fluffy down comforter. This greatly increases the chances that I’ll jump into bed naked. It should be a solid color or have a simple pattern. No woman can resist 500-thread-count sheets, but if you’re on a budget, T-shirt sheets are an equally soft alternative.